Butthurt over Viral Buzzwords

Whelps quelch out sins: "u mad bro"s and "epic win"s.
I really hope you don't do this.
If you don't speak like my peers, you don't know shit about english.

Relief

Sunlight washes the shoals seeping heat into my soles which bound above shells'n shale.
Beach-breath tousles straws stuck in sunk star-emblazoned plastic cups.
Laughter lifts from lungs to face, escaping into the ether, waving into space.
Monochrome bikinis scarcely contain tanned and oiled swells, jostling for freedom throughout a game of volleyball.
Jokes, sketches, numbers, poetry, and initials graffiti the single bathroom stall.
I rush to mightily hose down the toilet with kidney-filtered Sprite.
A weight leaves me.
Everything's right.

Children's Hos

Chubby Teletubby actors pull their tinky winkies to peals of tinkling laughter in trailers with stars emblazoned on their doors.
Barney&friends are wearing Depends in case the LSD laced grub runs through their system before the porcelain altar admits them.
The Doodlebops are smashing their stained hotel room like a real bland rock and roll band: cigarette ash is stomped in carpets, drinks are spilled in the trays, presents were left by their toy pets, the smell will stay for days.
The Wiggles wear long sleeve shirts to cover their habits and lay blitzed, throats hoarse from orgasmic screaming (incited by fisting and tossed salad yum) yum.
Lazytown is coming down from four score and twenty keys in an unleased house hearing dancing bassoon music, eating runny eggs, red-eyed on a sunny day, and there is no musician to listen to around.
Sesame Street's replete with mother's screaming to God, "why my baby?" and girlfriends sobbing, "habibi" as hard bangers vie for turf, every guy must die tough.
Dora the Explorer was kidnapped, slapped, and held for ransom. Grandpa replied to calls about a high hostage-release price w/, "I thought I had a grandson". Not wanting to grab some more girls and risk arrest the criminals decided it best to sell the abuelo-abandoned nino to slavers.

Our opening bid is € 20, 000.